I am a woman. So what?


So what?
I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him"

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three", because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company " Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh"
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.

Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, "ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She's a witch! " Because she's a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!

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Concepts of WEE
  • Dorcas Tshuma
    Hi Elvira

    I did not see that you posted it earlier,  I shouldn't have reposted it, when I read it online it touched my heart
  • Akhila Kadgathur Jayaram
    Truly thought-provoking post Elvira. This could probably be attributed to how a lot of women have tolerated such behaviour in the past due to not being financially empowered to look after themselves in addition to not receiving support from their families. But things are changing, women are becoming more financially independent and will stand up to this sort of gender bias.
  • Tim Immaculate Bih
    You have analysed it all Elvira Che.
  • claudia rivas
    Nice post. I feel you have put many examples from your culture. It is a good opportunity for me to tell you about the counterpart of my country and well the latin culture.

    1. If a man hit you, yeah there are still many people who believe the woman is the one doing something wrong. This way to think is not that common anymore, but what it is still common is that the same women who have been beaten defend their husbands like they were heros and no criminals. So even if a friend or relative try to help they don't let them because everything in a family stay inside the house.

    2.About cheating. Even we see that bad, yeah many women tend to forget what their partner did in order to save their marriage. And usually no ones see the man as a very bad guy. Example, the father of a friend left her wife for a young woman; this is something very wrong. Even people said this was bad, there were man who feel he like a hero because he was now with a younger woman. If the wife had done this she would have lost her friends probably.

    3. About being succesful. Yes something similar happens here, if you care more about getting a good job,a good position, or having your own business than rather having a boyfriend or kids then you're a cold person who only thinks in money and yes most people think that for a women to be succesful she must has opened her legs.

    4. This is what has happened to me. If a woman travels alone she's risking herself and if something happens to her is her fault for traveling alone. If a woman travels with a male friend, then they're friends with benefits and for sure he's paying the trip because no way a man and woman can travel as a "friends" and she's paying her own stuff.
    3 of 3 Replies
  • Bongwong Justin
    I like the energy!
5 of 5 comments