is marriage the end of my studies ?

I Have heared a lot of ladies saying to me , study before you get married because you wont be able to study .
is that the norm ? or is that what husbands expect? or is just the attitude ?

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  • Tumelo Mogotsi
    I think it's the attitude. Most men in african cultures want  to control women in what they can and can not do.  also those women maybe redering to the fact that yoyr life wil be busier then as yiy balance children, work and school. Marriage should not opress anyone, there should always be a choice to pursue anything you want all it takes is a great partner as the comments below have indicated. 
  • Rupande Mehta
    I think you should be able to pursue the choice you want to. If you want to study, marriage or single - you should be able to. I am a married woman with a 4 y/o and I went back to school earlier this year. In one of my classes, there is another mother (3 children) who is pursing her law degree. I believe in laying the groundwork before entering any serious relationship - if you tell your future husband what your aspirations are and that you may want to go back to school, there should be no issue. As Tinuola wrote so well, "when you stop learning you stop living". 
  • Tinuola Aina
    When you stop learning,  you stop living. I believe this notion is stemmed to the fact that once a woman begins to bear children,  her priorities will be more on her family than herself. 

    However, marriage should not be an end to learning for women. Besides,  we have online platforms that has assisted individuals in broadening their knowledge all over the world by a clique on the Internet. 
    Thinking that everything has its time to live the most significant experiences in your life. Marriage by itself would not have the power to stop in your growth, but the choice of an incorrect partner and the attitude of conformism you have will make you regress in your goals.
  • Abiodun essiet
    Online platform is also an opportunity for us women to further our education and balance our life.
  • Abiodun essiet
    Most husband in Africa, don't want their wife's to work let alone go to school, but it really depends on the man. Like me, after my marriage I was able to further my Education to masters level but he was not in total agreement but I was able to make it work by balancing my life so that my children and family are not affected. .
  • I dont think it's because of norms or myths but the many responsibilities that come with marriage. It's difficult to study when you work full time how much more when you are married and working? I think that's the logic behind those statements.
  • Adina Laura Achim
    This has very much to do with the culture in which you've been brought up. I have a significant number of female acquaintances in Europe, who have completed their Master Degree post marriage or who have enrolled in courses during their marriage. I'm happily married and still take weekend classes to further enhance my knowledge, so it's only up to you to build your future.
  • Princess Olayemi JOLEDO-AYOMAH
    Am a prime example of not being able to go to school after Marriage. Marriage is not suppose to stop u from getting better qualified as it places one on a better pedestal to be able to provide more for your family. But, I think it takes a lot of determination to not stop school after Marriage.
    Marriage shouldn't be the end of your studies. A lot of women continue their studies after marriage and childbirth but it depends on their spouses. I suggest you discuss with you spouse to be before marriage and let him know your intentions of continuing your education after marriage.
  • ukaoma uche
    Marriage is not the end of your study dear, just that theres a lot of distraction when you are married, its no longer just about you.
    you have a lot people around you to take care of, husband, kids.

    Using me as an example, am on third year of an advanced study which is suppose to take me one year.


    - got pregnant at a point and down with hyperemesis graviderium, thats a year gone
    - had baby, no assistance. nursing baby to grow before i can continue, thats another year gone.

    But i refuse to quit.

    Studying while married may not be as smooth as when single, but definitely marriage is not an end to study.
  • anisha shaik
    Hi Xaba
    This is the regular question every woman faces in daily life. I have few friends who are studying masters even after handling a kid. When I look at her,it looks amazing! Women can do many things and it's just the society hypnotizes them. 
  • Miguel Jena
    Hie Zanele, i have about 3 close female friends/classmates who were faced with such a situation. They were denied the chance to continue with their studies the husbands claiming "you've learnt enough and it's now time you take care of this family". I am sure there are many others too, in my opinion i think the husband will begin to feel threatened and scared of becoming intellectually inferior to the wife and sometimes it's the issue of trust, some husbands get paranoid about their wives having college boyfriends and they end up hindering her opportunity to continue learning.
  • Olga Rajchikj
    Education is a continuous process that should take place through out the whole life-time. Unfortunately, many women quit education because of a marriage, which in my opinion is the worst decision one could make. I always say to myself, I will not be a good wife nor mother, if I hadn't developed myself and if I don't know what I want in life. One should actualize himself/herselg first and than decide to make serious steps, as marriage is. However, if one decides to get married, than the other partner should be fully supportive for continuiung this very important part of life=education.
  • Maryann Nwanneka Egwuonwu
    People say that simply because when you marry, they expect you to start childbearing immediately and as a result of this, some women find it hard to combine both marriage and schooling. Everything depends on the woman, what does she want for herself? Some husbands are very supportive, while unfortunately some are not. But everything still boils down to the woman to firmly decide that no matter the odds, she must continue her education and marriage wont stop her from achieveing her dreams.
  • aderemi bamgboye
    @ Zanele - Learning is for life , you hear most people say this because of the role a woman plays in marriage - she changes her name( well in Nigeria), her dreams most of the time becomes her husband and her kids even if she had a dream of becoming something else. Once you marry there is a responsility to your kids and your husband. Dont get me wrong , there are men that supports their wives while some dont support them because they might see them as a competition. It all depends on the woman to determine to further her education no matter what. I know people that leave everything that were engaged in before getting married to take care of the kids and when the kids are grown a little , they chase after their dreams.
    • Zanele Xaba
      Hi Aderemi,

      point taken  thank you . 

      where there is a will there is a way .
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  • Manisha Kad
    This is good topic. What I am describing is situation in India we observed?

    There were many families in which girls can not be educated more because there can be problem for their marriage. It was past. Now situation is better.

    Still if we think practically, after marriage, their household work gets increased, they can not spend more time in study.
    Kids can be one of the major responsibility. But still when there is will, there is always way. So we can learn at any age, at any situation, if you really want learn.
    • Zanele Xaba
      hi Manisha,

      thanks for your inputs ,
      indeed Marriage comes responsibility but when there is a will there is definately a way 
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    Education never ends unless you stop learning yourself.If you have a supportive man he can help you to go for further studies.
    Marriage should not be used as an excuse of not reaching the glass ceiling.
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